How Your Words Become Your World
Last week, I revealed how reading books allows you to borrow lifetimes of wisdom from others.
After years of reading and writing, I have come to understand something that many people overlook:
Words are powerful; they carry the potency to shape your reality.
Your inner dialogue, what you say to others, and the information you consume are not just innocuous syllables and sounds.
They are the building blocks of your self-image, your character, your relationships, and ultimately the world as you see it.
Words set things into motion.
I can end the article right there, because that is the core message.
But as promised, here is a Chinese proverb that accentuates the power of words:
一言既出，驷马难追 (yì yán jì chū, sì mǎ nán zhuī).
- 一言既出 (yì yán jì chū): once words have been spoken
- 驷马难追 (sì mǎ nán zhuī): four galloping horses cannot chase them back.
Putting the two parts together, they show a vivid image of how difficult it is to take back the words we release into the world.
This proverb is extracted from the classic Confucian text《论语》(lún yǔ), published about 2500 years ago.
Originally, it served as a guiding principle for 君子 (jūn zǐ )–a term that signifies a person of noble character:
Your words are sacred. Once spoken, words carry consequences that cannot be undone. You must follow through with your promises and commitments.
But this is not just about the promises you make to others.
The deeper lesson is this: the words you speak silently and aloud are all shaping who you are.
Words strengthen or weaken your character.
In the last article, I mentioned how reading helps you become a more integrated person.
Another word that describes a state integration is integrity.
Integrity isn’t about perfection.
It is about coherence.
It is when your speech, beliefs, desires, and actions all point in the same direction.
Every promise you keep strengthens your character.
Every time you break a promise, your character dims as your self-trust weakens.
This includes the promises you make to yourself.
Your character may seem invisible to you, yet it is something that others readily detect, often on a subconscious level.
For example, I find it draining to befriend people who don’t honor their words.
Of course, nobody is perfect and slip-ups can happen.
But those who repeatedly turn back on their words and those who dishonor important promises simply do not inspire my respect nor trust.
So what is the secret to happiness in friendship and partnership?
Here’s my take: decide who has access to you based on how seriously they treat their own words.
This choice alone will create a much smaller, yet much more loyal and mutually supportive social circle.
Words become your identity.
What’s more important than judging other people’s characters is evaluating our own.
It all starts with how we talk to ourselves.
When I used to work with eating disorder patients on the daily, I was astounded by the extent people attacked themselves with words.
Eating disorders thrive on self-loathing thoughts such as “I am ugly and disgusting” and “I am unworthy of love.”
Every “I AM” is reinforcing an identity, whether it is in your favor or to your detriment.
Dr Wayne Dyer has written extensively about the power of “I AM” statements from an esoteric point of view. Here is a quote worth considering:
“The strange and wonderful thing about your subconscious mind is that it always accepts as true what you feel to be true.”
– Dr Wayne Dyer
So if your inner dialogue repeatedly suggests that you are “bad”, “lazy”, “behind”, or “not enough”, then these statements become anchors for your identity.
This leads us full circle back to the title of today’s article: “words are spells, choose them carefully.”
What are spells?
According to the medical intuitive Caroline Myss, a spell is “a thought form; a perception that gets into your head and has influence over you.”
We are always creating our own spells.
If you want others to respect you more, you must first choose thoughts that evoke self-respect.
If you want deeper connections with others, you must first have deep and holistic reflections about yourself. Perhaps you can start by reading books that nourish your mind with ideas of depth instead of consuming “fast-food” media.
And if you want greater self-trust, you must have nuanced inner negotiations that lead to realistic goals. Then, you keep your own promises.
The words you utter to yourself are game-changers. Choose them carefully. And match them with actions.
Use the gift of words to expand your world.
We just unveiled the gravity of words as conveyed by the proverb 一言既出，驷马难追 (yì yán jì chū, sì mǎ nán zhuī).
As always, there is a silver lining:
Words are spells, so you get to choose the spells that transform your life.
An integrated identity requires you to choose words expansive enough to hold all of you.
For example, I can describe myself with the following statements:
- I am kind and compassionate, and I am ruthless and ferocious when a line is crossed
- I trust my feelings and intuition, and I value rigorous analysis
- I base my decisions on scientific evidence and esoteric principles
Perhaps I should write about how to hold opposing truths within oneself, but that’s for another day.
You gain more peace and clarity when you are able to use words to honor your beautiful complexity.
So go ahead and do an internal audit today:
- What are the words you feed yourself on a daily basis?
- How do these words make you feel?
- Do you like the identity these words are supporting？
If you don’t like what you find, go make some changes.
We are all spellcasters. It is up to us to adopt different vocabularies to create a different reality.
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Until next time.
Love,
Crystal
