The expression I chose for this week’s newsletter is 童心未眠 (tóng xīn wèi mián).
Its meaning is relatively straight-forward :
- 童 (tóng) = child
- 心 (xīn) = heart
- 未 (wèi) = not
- 眠 (mián)= asleep
This expression is traditionally used to describe an elderly adult who embodies a childlike spirit.
But I believe it carries profound insights for adults in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.
For instance, I often notice that everyone tries hard to sound super formal and wise on LinkedIn.
Understandably, LinkedIn is a platform to showcase your professional side.
But I can’t help but feel a little disappointed, because I believe this is not just a LinkedIn phenomenon.
“So what do you do?”
That’s the number one question I get when I meet people in the wild.
We’ve bought into the story that, as adults, our identity is tied to our professional titles.
Appearing serious, established, and well put-together is supposed to make you look mature and respectable.
Plus, there are bills to pay, chores to handle, and milestones to achieve.
Play is the first thing thrown out of the window.
Doing silly things is irresponsible and “uncool” in the world of grown-ups.
Immersing yourself in activities for the pure sake of joy is such an immature act that it must be condemned to the last place on the priorities list.
Or is it?
There are insidious consequences when you condemn play.
童心未眠 (tóng xīn wèi mián) implies that the childlike spirit never truly vanishes in adulthood.
It simply becomes dormant in those who decide to turn away from its call.
Neglected to the dark and dusty corner of the psyche.
You can always sense when an adult has gone a long time without real play :
- They may smile and act positive, but their eyes look tired and empty
- They don’t know what else to talk about other than work.
- When asked what makes them feel happy and alive, they hesitate or provide generic answers that don’t light up their face.
For children, playing comes naturally.
They are not yet conditioned to know what they “should” like and “should” be doing.
They are not yet measuring each activity against the money it generates or the KPI it produces.
Because playing brings no ROI other than pure, unfiltered joy.
How we play as children is a clue to how we experience joy in the most authentic way.
Wouldn’t it be obvious then that when you shut out play, you are essentially abandoning joy ?
Wouldn’t it make sense that chronic fatigue, low mood, numbness, and emptiness become the habitual state of your life as a result ?
Ultimately, building a life devoid of intentional playfulness is the path to disconnecting from your authentic self.
So what is the secret of the adults who embody unbound playfulness?
Despite having chores to do and bills to pay.
Despite having challenges to face and emotional rollercoasters to navigate.
They are the living proof of 童心未眠 (tóng xīn wèi mián).
Their life emanates an innocent joy that seems undisturbed by the burdens of adulthood.
There is a certain lightness and peace to the way they move.
They seem to not take adulthood so seriously, yet their work reflects excellence and carries profound impact regardless.
What are the secrets to their abundance of joy?
And what can we learn from their way of life?
I shall reveal their secrets to you in next week’s newsletter 😉
P.S. I made a video on this very topic. Go check it out on my YouTube channel here.
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Until next time,
Love,
Crystal
