Last week, I told you the story of 守株待兔 (shǒu zhū dài tù).

To recap, the story was about a farmer who abandoned farm work in hope of getting rabbits by waiting at a tree stump.

Here are some modern day versions of this mentality:

You want financial freedom without doing the work.
You want a happy relationship without changing your unhelpful patterns
You want excellent health without improving your lifestyle

Another expression that describes this mentality is 不劳而获 (bù láo ér huò).

不(bù) = Not
劳 (láo) = To work or put in effort
而 (ér) = But; yet
获 (huò) = To gain or get something

It describes someone who expects rewards without putting in effort.

I believe it is natural to daydream about an ideal future.

In fact, having hopes and dreams is the first step to manifestation.

But why do so many people stop short at the “dreaming” stage?

Why do they avoid the work that is necessary for turning dreams into reality?

Passivity is often disguised as being responsible and mature.

“It is what it is.”

This is a phrase I’ve heard many times before.

It sounds mature and wise, especially when unexpected things happen and pull you off track.

Or when you are dealing with unwanted situations and there seems to be nothing you can do about it.

But here’s the catch:

Are you accepting reality WHILE still choosing mindsets and actions that move towards your highest good?

Or are you resorting to apathy and resignation?

You always have the free will to choose the meaning you attach to any circumstance.

Your meaning-making will either make you more passive or more empowered.

Every time you avoid the responsibility of making your life better, you are practicing passivity.

Eventually, passivity erodes your sense of agency.

Turning dreams into reality requires your agency.

The antidote to passivity is taking responsibility.

Not avoidance. Not maintaining the status quo.

Real responsibility.

It means having the guts to see the gap between where you are now and where you want to be.

It means refusing to stay with unhelpful habits, situations, or people.

It means choosing to not stay asleep in your own life.

Codie Sanchez summed it up well : “Freedom always comes through responsibility.”

Taking responsibility means claiming your agency.

Instead of living in the fantasy of 不劳而获 (bù láo ér huò), how about a different approach as taught by this expression : 自食其力 (zì shí qí lì).

自 (zì)= Oneself
食 (shí) = To eat or consume
其 (qí) = One’s own; their own
力 (lì) = Strength, capacity, or effort

It describes a state of sovereignty within oneself:

You live on the fruits of your labor.

Your efforts determine the quality and direction of your life.

You are grounded in your agency.

However, I do want to add a nuanced interpretation:

Self-sufficiency alone is not enough.

You still need to discern what you can and cannot control.

Because when you try to force an outcome, it becomes fear of failure disguised as agency.

And self-sufficiency is not sustainable unless you honor the interconnectedness between you and others.

But that’s a topic for another day (I digress).

I have transformed my reality many times.

I briefly told you the story of how I became fluent in three languages in this video.

The story of how I became a skilled public speaker followed a similar through line.

People often don’t believe that I was once a very shy girl who hated the spotlight.

Thankfully, I have wise parents who intentionally created opportunities for me to take the stage from a young age, despite my resistance.

They nudged me out of my comfort zone, one little step at a time.

Eventually, my confidence grew:

I raised my hand more often in class.
I accepted on-stage performances more readily.
I participated in public speaking contests.
I took on roles where I led workshops and group activities.

I took action after action. They gave me evidence of my capacity.

They shifted my self-concept and changed my reality.

And this taught me something profound:

The actions you take repeatedly will shape your identity.

My formula for manifesting dreams is simple:

Choose the beliefs that support your dream life.
Take repeated actions that align with those beliefs.
When you fall back into old habits that don’t serve you, go back to step 2.

Creating a new reality is not about waiting for miracles.

It is about showing up daily for your dreams, even if the process is slow.

Even if sometimes you go off track or feel discouraged.

In closing, I want to share with you a thought-provoking quote:

The lazy don’t know how to start. The losers don’t know how to finish. The legends don’t know how to stop.

– Alex Hormozi

Let that sink in.

And let your actions do the convincing.

P.S. My video on how to manifest your dreams is out now! Go check it out. 🙂

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Until next time.

Love,

Crystal