Last week, I revealed to you the trap of urgency and invited you to trust the timing of your life.
You can find that article here.
This week, I want to dive deeper into timing, because I wrestled with urgency for years.
On the quest to taming the chaos of my inner world, something unexpected emerged:
Discernment.
As usual, you will soon discover a Chinese expression, but first…
I started noticing the seasonality of life.
I went through a few metaphorical “winters” between 2019 and now, where my old perceptions about reality disintegrated.
It was deeply disorienting. I was consumed by a desperate search for certainty while suffering through intense bouts of insomnia.
I felt like a blindfolded person navigating a thick forest without a compass, consumed by fear, dread, and helplessness.
Perhaps those will be stories for another time. 😉
For years, the following questions haunted me:
- How do I make decisions when the past no longer makes sense and the future cannot be grasped?
- How can I move forward when I cannot see where I am going?
Discernment is forged when you stop running from the unknown.
People want to know.
After all, certainty calms the mind.
The reason why you hold onto unhealthy habits, toxic relationships, and dead-end jobs is because the familiar feels safer than the unknown.
You subconsciously understand that transforming your life is going to cost you greatly.
It will cost you everything that once made sense.
Yet discernment is not a product of luck. It is gained through transformation over time.
And this truth is encapsulated in an expression that arose from the timeless fictional classic 西游记 (xī yóu jì), or Journey to the West.
(p.s. I grew up reading and watching 西游记. Perhaps I will dedicate a few articles and videos just to this masterpiece.)
The expression is 火眼金睛 (huǒ yǎn jīn jīng). It literally means fiery eyes with golden pupils.
- 火 (huǒ) = fire
- 眼 (yǎn) = eyes
- 金 (jīn) = golden
- 睛 (jīng) = eyeball or specifically the pupil
Now let me tell you the story of how Sun Wukong the Monkey King developed powerful eyes that saw through deceptions.
The fire was meant to burn him to death.
After wreaking havoc in heaven, the Monkey King was captured and trapped inside the Eight Trigram Furnace.
For forty-nine days, he endured scorching heat, suffocating smoke, and isolation.
It was meant to destroy him.
But he hid in a corner of the furnace where the flames were weaker.
When the furnace was finally opened, the Monkey King survived.
The prolonged heat and smoke have permanently altered his eyes.
From then on, he possessed 火眼金睛–golden eyes that saw through all illusions and disguises. Demons could no longer hide from him by shapeshifting.
What is the lesson here?
The Monkey King gained the capacity to see clearly only after being transformed by what almost broke him.
The time spent in the fire was an intense recalibration of his identity.
He transformed into the legend capable of embarking on his life’s mission in the Journey to the West.
The unknown carries the alchemical fire that burns away illusions.
As a defiant soul who ventured into the liminal space of the unknown, I was not at all prepared for the pain I was about to endure.
There is a specific kind of grief that accompanies the crumbling of old beliefs.
When the beliefs that once provided you with safety, identity, and direction come crashing down, you might wonder “when will I be ok again?”
But when the dust settles, your sight clears.
You start to see people and situations with neither glorification nor pessimism.
Clarity emerges. Peace ensues.
Over time, I understood that discernment is the precursor to peace.
And the process of gaining discernment feels like disorientation before it feels like freedom.
Navigating the in-between era does not feel empowering at first, but it is exactly what’s required for clarity to emerge.
What is this season teaching you to see?
If you’ve been reading from me since the beginning, you know I don’t shy away from confronting subjects.
Because life tends to throw us into a metaphorical “furnace” when we are least prepared.
So give yourself some grace for feeling lost, confused, or fearful of what could come next.
Not knowing the answer or the next steps doesn’t mean you are on the wrong path.
Maybe it means you are still being shaped.
So friends, please learn to stay with the tension of the unknown.
Be patient with the process.
Let time reveal the rest.
P.S. In the mean time, go watch my latest video on how to manifest your dream life here.
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Until next time.
Love,
Crystal
